MDPD - Pink

It had happened. It had finally happened.

Guy put his head into his hands. He was handcuffed to a table in one of the Megadale police department’s interview rooms. He’d been arrested no more than an hour ago – by his father no less. And he had been arrested as SheZow.

Luckily, Maz had had the sense to bolt. But the Shehicle was in the police impound. SheZow’s hair was a mess. The only plus was they had yet wrangle from him his true identity. But that would be soon in coming. Guy groaned and thunked his head against the table top. “Dad is going to kill me. He’s going to kill me and then he’s going to ground me forever!”

The door to the interview room opened. It wasn’t his father, thank God. The woman who entered was dressed in a smart business suit. She looked perhaps forty, with long dark hair, and she had a folder tucked under one arm. At first, her expression was grim, and then she smiled faintly. “I’m Detective Johansson. It seems your exploits have finally caught up with you, SheZow.” She raised an eyebrow. “Or is there something else I can call you?”

Yeah, like he was that stupid. “SheZow is fine.”

Johansson shrugged and slipped into the chair opposite him. She tossed the folder onto the table. It made a heavy thump as it landed. It was at least an inch thick. “You know why you’re here, right?”

Guy sighed, blowing a bedraggled strand of hair back from his face. “I know I probably shouldn’t have taken the Shehicle through that wind tunnel.”

“Probably not.”

“But if you wanted Coldfinger to bury half of Megadale under six feet of snow, I suppose I could’ve skipped that.”

“Hmm.” Johansson smiled at him.

Guy frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“No, we don’t want Megadale beneath six feet of snow. You’re right. However, you did cause a lot of damage, and that’s the problem.”

Guy let out an exasperated huff. “I’m constantly helping you guys, why do you hate me so much? It’s Shediculous! Now I’m in trouble?! I’m just trying to help.”

“Then let me help you.”

Guy eyed the woman suspiciously. “How...?”

“Cards on the table? I can have the charges against you dropped. And I can have your vehicle…”

“It’s called the Shehicle.”

“…you’re Shehicle returned to you.”

It almost sounded too good to be true. “And you don’t want to know my identity?”

Johansson shook her head. “Nope. But only if you do something for me.”

“Yeah?” Guy leaned forward onto the table. He didn’t know what she wanted, not yet. But if it avoided his father finding out about his double life, he was all ears.

Johansson leaned forward as well. “I actually think you help Megadale a lot. There’re some villains our department simply does not have the resources to take down. But you do. The only problem…”

“I break things.”

“Basically, yes.”

Guy ran a hand through his hair subconsciously. He couldn’t really mess it up any more than it was already. “I’m not sure I can promise to stop breaking things. It just kind of happens.”

“That’s not what I want. You do good, but you’re a loose cannon. I think I can help you fix that.”

Guy chewed his lip. He wasn’t sure he liked where this was going. But he had little choice. He couldn’t let his identity be discovered. His Dad would be furious. And then his family would probably have to move to the moon. He drew in a breath. “Okay, tell me what it is you want me to do.”

*****

Boxter was giddy with all the attention. Finally, he was getting a bit of recognition! He still couldn’t believe he’d managed to catch SheZow. It hadn’t really been any great feat. He’d simply hustled the dazed heroine into the back of his police vehicle before she’d had a chance to realise what was happening. All through the drive back to the station he’d been waiting for the back of the car to be rocked as she shot off through the roof, or out the back windscreen. But it hadn’t happened; her hair was a mess, and it seemed that was enough to keep her contained.

Sure, she’d rattled the metal grate partition, begged him to let her go, and finally called him a ‘big meanie’. That had only made Boxter start laughing. In response she’d stopped making a racket and sat in the back seat pouting. Hell, he’d had more troublesome drunks in there.

“Yeah, so I told her we’d had enough of her mucking around in police business. I seriously doubt we have to worry about cleaning up SheZow’s messes anymore.” Boxter leaned back on a nearby desk. He had the undivided attention of nearly every officer in the station. Of course, some of that attention may have been because someone had been down to the supermarket and brought in a cake. But if the cake was for him, as far as Boxter was concerned any attention focused on that cake could also be legitimately counted.

Wackerman clapped him hard on the shoulder. “Well, it’s about time, buddy. SheZow’s been bugging you for months.”

“Yeah, and we hear all about it,” one of the other officers added. He cracked a smile and raised a plastic wine glass filled to the brim with orange juice. “Let’s hear it for Hamdon!”

A cheer went up from the other officers. Wackerman’s voice was muffled slightly by a mouthful of cake.

“I wouldn’t celebrate just yet.” Detective Johansson came into the room.

She was followed closely by a sheepish-looking SheZow. The heroine’s hair still looked a little ruffled.

“It’s okay, we’ve saved you some cake!” said Wackerman, spitting cake crumbs.

SheZow met Boxter’s eye, and Boxter smirked. “About time we got you, SheZow. What’s wrong, not as invincible as you thought you were?” He frowned, and took his weight off the desk. “Hey… where are her handcuffs?”

Johansson raised a hand. “Settle down, Hamdon. I’ve got her under control.”

Boxter glared at SheZow. She didn’t seem to be trying to escape. He allowed some of the tension to drain from his shoulders, but he was still wary. “So what’s going on then? You got a confession out of her already? Convinced her to tell us who she really is?”

“Not exactly.” Johansson drew in a breath. “I’ve had a chat with SheZow and we’ve come to an agreement. We’ve made a deal to drop all charges on the condition that…”

“What?!” Boxter exploded. He knew it! He knew it was too good to be true! “Are you kidding me? What kind of bureaucratic nonsense is this?! You know the kind of trouble she causes; she trashes half of Megadale…”

“… saves your butt, does your job for you…” SheZow added under her breath.

“You stay out of this! Don’t you get it? We’ve finally got her!”

“Yes. So now that we have her we can teach her to protect Megadale without causing so much damage. We’ve got an opportunity here…”

“More like a disaster waiting to happen,” Boxter drawled. “You gonna set her loose? You want to take responsibility for that?”

“Yes.”

“This is ridiculous! You sit behind a desk; you have no idea what she’s like!”

Behind him, Wackerman choked over his piece of cake.

Johansson barely seemed offended; she just raised an eyebrow. “You’re saying you’ve got a better idea what she’s capable of than I do?”

“Yes!”

“You think you know how to take care of her better than me too, then?”

Boxter squared his shoulders. “Yeah… yeah, I think I do.”

Johansson nodded. “Good. This should work out perfectly then.”

That was not the response he had expected. Boxter suddenly had a very bad feeling in the pit of his gut. “What…?” he said, all the anger gone from his voice.

Johansson walked past him and picked up the last piece of cake from its plastic tray. “SheZow is going to be your new partner.” She took a bite of cake. “Congratulations.”

For a moment, Boxter just stared at her. Someone let out a short laugh, then snorted like they’d just inhaled orange juice.

“Hey, wait,” Boxter stuttered. “Don’t I get a say in this?!”

Johansson was already halfway back to her office. “Nope.”

Boxter stared a SheZow.

She waggled her fingers at him. “Um… hi… partner.”

“Can I request a transfer?” Boxter yelled across the office.

“No.”

Boxter’s shoulders sagged. The other officers were starting to disperse. But then, Johansson had taken the last piece of cake.

“So who’s going to be my partner?” said Wackerman mournfully.

“No…” Boxter sank back against the desk behind him, putting a hand to his face. “Why me?”

“Um…” said SheZow. “Anyone in here got some hairspray?”